I was reading the paper this morning, when I came across a huge advertisement that involved a "Santa" who could be "paid" to give kids presents.
It was very hilarious to note that this was next to a "safe sex" advertisement campaign.
Back to my point. Santa is paid to give children presents? This is corruption to the highest point. But trust me, I know how these vile and disgusting people do it. They know that their kids have been naughty (no pun intended) but still "deserve their presents". Then they call the Head of Santa's Public Relations in the North Pole (a collect call, if you can believe) who is most certain to be an elf, or at the very least, Rudolf's second cousin thrice removed.
Shocking. But the truth must be told.
Even worse, Santa has to pay for his OWN ticket (still, he has to have a Frequent Flyer Membership Card, what with all the times Rudolf and his buds were on strike on Christmas) to India, amidst all the gawking and gaping at his clothing that is described by teenaged girls as,"OMG! Tht dude's sweater vest is like SO last century!" Little do they know that it is- and hasn't been drycleaned since.
But poor Santa has to be there, although he knows of their naughtiness (no pun intended), because why? He is PAID, and also has a duty to fulfill as the bearer of PSPs, GameBoys, Skateboards, Barbie Dolls, Polly Pockets and what not.
Truly I feels sorry for Santa. You cannot accuse HIM of bribery. How else is he supposed to pay for all the Average Cost of Production?
But if you feel sorry for him, like I do- remember- stop these corrupted people, and immediately call the Anti-Corruption Squad in your Town/City/Galaxy (at $4 per minute)
You have been warned, and your help will be greatly appreciated to bring these evildoers to Justice.