Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Curse Of The Ratings

Me- "Hello, Theatre x?"
Theatre Guy (T.G) - "Yes, Information speaking, how may I help you?"
Me- "I'd like to book three tickets for the 3:45 show for Angels & Demons."
T.G- "Alright, may I have your Theatre x Membership number?"
Me- "x1x1x1x1x1x1x1x1x"
T.G- "Great. The bill for this booking will be deducted from your original deposit."
Me- "Thanks. I'll let my parents know."

*pause*

T.G - "I'm sorry, what?"
Me - "My parents. I'll let them- I'm sorry, I don't mean to keep you from your other calls. Thanks a lot."
T.G - "No! Wait! How old are you?"

*pause*

Me - "I'm sorry, I don't think I'm at liberty to answer that."
T.G - "No, what I meant was that you don't sound older than 18, and because Angels & Demons is rated 'A', we won't be permitting you to enter unless you show valid ID."

*pause*

T.G - "Miss, are you there?"
Me - "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* c l i c k *

This was how my conversation with a certain theatre went this evening.
I'm sure many of you would have experienced something like this before-

"Mum, can I watch the new James McAvoy movie?"
"Sure. It isn't rated Restricted though, right?"
"Um, sure?"

Ideally, I'd like to tell my mum the truth. But, HELLO. "WANTED" was rated ADULT because of its violence sequences. NOT BECAUSE OF YOU-KNOW-WHAT. (My aunt and uncle read this blog. To them, I show nothing but respect, obedience and a value of my life).

Back to my rant -um- point.

These ratings. They're PREPOSTROUS! But no. I'm not talking about American ratings. Since they have a broader variety to choose from, it's not that bad. I mean,you have General, PG, PG-13... In the end, the only ones I can't watch because of the stupid theatre security would be NC-17 ones, and Restricted ones.

But in INDIA? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

We only have Universal, Adult, and Universal/Adult.

What good is THAT?

Most of the time, ADULT would be for the most DUMBEST of reasons. Did you know that Universal/Adult was given to an ANIMATED MOVIE?

*cue bad Indian accent*

"Oh, but there is the so much violent!"

Yeah, because watching ElastiGirl throw a bad guy out of the aircraft while morphing into a boat to save her kids is SO SCARY.
Pfft.

I want to watch Angels & Demons. Is that such a bad thing? I mean, COME ON. It's got Tom Hanks and Ewan McGregor in it!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Breathe. In. Breathe. Out.

So what happens NOW, you ask? "Does Aisu FINALLY get to see the movie?"

Yes, she does. In a crappy movie theatre with bad popcorn and flat Coca-Cola.
What GOOD, is watching a box-office hit, in a bad theatre?

It's so sad, I think I might cry.

And kill the Indian Censor Board in a fit of violent rage.

Ooooooh. DOES THAT COUNT AS "ADULT", buddy?

*death glare*

1 comment:

Sashini said...

HAAAHAAA I SAW ANGELS & DEMONS AT SATHYAAAAM XD
Muahahahhahahahahaha
DUDE I hope you're not talking about Mayajaal being the crappy cinema. :|
If so- I WILL MURDER YOU.
kthxbye :D