Friday, July 17, 2009

Hypothermia, Apes, And Inefficient Presidents

The thrill of breaking rules is exciting. I’m supposed to be asleep now. You can obviously guess that I’m not asleep. Unless I’m sleep-typing. Which I don’t think I’ve ever done before. Except when I was writing that report on Waste Management.

That assignment was very stupid, by the way.

Isn’t it obvious?

FLUSH. THE. TOILET.

End of report.

The A/C is on 21 degrees Celsius and I still feel like I’m on the brink of hypothermia.

I’ve just realized something. I think I write better in the night, no? Surely you must have noticed. The stuff I write during the day is so boring that I fall asleep during my validation.

“What? Are you sick of those frisky tablets of Valium? Try our patented sleep-inducers… Aisu’s Day Blogs! Guaranteed to get you the doze and the snores we’re sure you need! Warning- In case of overdose, there is seriously nothing we can do.”

But on a more serious note…

Yeah, I’ve got nothing.

You know, I’ve always found it annoying when people go on and on about how bored they are.

Except when my friends do it. Then it’s interesting, because I can understand how their minds work.

Difficult to catch up with them, you know.

Oooooooh! I know! I can write about my friends! My current friends, I mean. My old friends treated me like water. Taken for granted, potential unexploited, compared to several more popular drinks until…

A huge wave of… guess what?... water comes and sweeps them off their feet and pushes them to an uninhabited island where active volcanoes and evil apes rule.

Yes. I have been known to hold a grudge.

But moving on-

I had better not talk about my friends. Not only would I be totally violating their privacy (although I wasn’t going to name names) I think my fingers would fall off with all the typing and the brink-of-hypothermia-ness that’s going on in my room.
It’s actually pretty cold. I should turn it off, but then the noise of my typing would be incredibly audible, and now that I’ve mentioned evil apes, I’m not feeling very safe. O_O

God, I’m definitely going to hell for sleeping this late.

But it isn’t late in Japan. It’s the afternoon.

So I don’t think I’ll be going to hell after all. Details rock my socks, although I’m not wearing any at the moment.

Which brings me to freezing toes and once again… brink-of-hypothermia-ness.

On a strictly random note, nothing is ever truly our fault, is it? I mean look at this-

You’re late for school, and you go by public bus...

The teacher says, “BLAH BLAH BLAH I’M SO BORING WHY ARE YOU LATE PUNCTUALITY I’M SO BORING BLAH BLAH BLAH”.

And you say, “Well, Miss. I stood at the stop on time. But the bus was having technical difficulties so it was having trouble starting. I got out and watched the driver fix the engine, which was broken because of the engineer who built the bus. The engineer was hired by the secretary of a business man who owns the bus lines. The business man takes orders from our local council. The council takes orders from the regional assembly. The regional assembly takes orders from the state government. The state government takes orders from the Lok Sabha. The Lok Sabha takes orders from the Prime Minister of India. The Prime Minister of India cannot do anything without the approval of the President of India. Thus, we see that it was THE PRESIDENT’S FAULT THAT I WAS LATE FOR SCHOOL!”

And the teacher says, “It is a conspiracy! HOLIDAY FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR WHILE WE PROTEST AGINST THE INADEQUACIES OF THE GOVERNMENT! LONG LIVE THE REPUBLIC!”

And you say, “Awesome.”

Sorry. My brain just exploded there for a minute.

I blame the evil apes and the brink-of-hypothermia-ness.

3 comments:

She Who Eats Cookies said...

I DO NOT TREAT YOU LIKE WATER! :O
*ignores the water & drinks the Coke*

Makuluwo said...

LMAO @ the last few paragraphs!
Man, I miss school now. :')

Anonymouse said...

Heehee.
I wish school was like that.
:P
AND I KNOW you don't treat me like water! I'm talking about the OLD ones.
:P